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Carol Kinsey Goman, Ph.D.

International Speaker, Author, Leadership Coach

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April 14, 2022 By Eve

Trust. Leadership, and the Power of Stories

TRUST. Every leader needs it. Trust is the foundation for successful collaboration. It is the glue that bonds team members and builds organizational commitment and engagement. 

But there is a problem. We learn what is important to leaders by the behaviors we see modeled by those leaders, and too often there is a “say-do” gap in the area of trust: We hear leaders asking for participation and then using exclusionary and dismissive body language that clearly shows they are uninterested in our opinions. We read organizational values statements that highlight the importance of knowledge sharing, but we see leaders being anything but candid and forthcoming.

I could make a bullet point list of reasons why trust needs to be aligned with leadership behavior. Instead, let me tell you a story . . .

During a company conference for a select group of people, a man wearing shorts, T-shirt, and sandals sat at the back of the room, taking notes about the meeting on his laptop and sending those messages out for the rest of the company to read. His name was Mark and he had been invited to the meeting not because of his rank or title, but because he was a frequent user of the new collaborative technology that senior leadership was promoting.

About midway through the meeting, one of the organizers approached Mark and asked him to stop sending out notes on the meeting. When Mark refused, the organizer emphasized that the request to stop came from the top of the organization. Mark then countered by saying he’d appreciate hearing it personally. 

A few minutes later, a break was called, and Mark found himself face-to-face with the head of the company; the chief executive officer. Here is how Mark recalls the conversation:

Mark: Hello, sir.

CEO: I understand that you have been posting notes from the meeting. I have to say that I haven’t read them, but are you sure that is such a good idea?

Mark: Do you trust me?

The CEO broke into a big smile, nodded slightly, and nothing further was said about Mark’s continued reporting of the events. 

BTW: This happened over 20 years ago, but the story is still told as a model for leadership behavior throughout the organization today.

Resources:

Here is a link to my best-selling LinkedIn Learning video course Body Language for Leaders

STAND OUT is available on multiple websites and in bookstores. Here is the link on Amazon: Stand Out: How to Build Your Leadership Presence

My programs on Body Language and Leadership Presence are available for in-person events. For information on my speaking fees, contact me by email at

Filed Under: Articles

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Articles

Body Language for Collaborative Leaders (1/16/2023)
Body Language for Negotiators (5/16/2022)
Trust. Leadership, and the Power of Stories (4/14/2022)
7 Mistakes That Derail Organizational Change (3/23/2022)
5 Unorthodox Truths about Goal Setting (2/28/2022)
Body Language Habits that Make You Stand Out (2/8/2022)
The Power Of Personal Connection (7/11/2021)
Thriving on Post-Pandemic Change (5/6/2021)
5 Mistakes People Make Reading Your Body Language (2/5/2021)
How Santa Claus Knows if You’ve Been Naughty or Nice: Deception Detection (12/19/2020)
The Five C’s of Leadership Presence (11/21/2020)
Hacks For Women To Stand Out On Zoom (7/24/2020)
Body Language for Leadership Presence on Zoom (5/16/2020)
We Need Physical Distance, Not Social Distance (4/5/2020)
How Leadership Presence Is Different For Women (5/28/2019)
8 Ways Leaders Build Collaboration (4/12/2019)
Virtual Presence for Leaders (2/5/2019)
Does Your Body Language Help – or Hurt – Your Leadership Effectiveness? (12/28/2018)
The Body Language of Collaborative Leaders (8/1/2018)
3 Ways Women Can Escape The Imposter Syndrome Trap (7/23/2018)
Reading Body Language at Work: Five Mistakes You Don’t Want to Make (4/21/2018)
10 Tips to Supercharge Your Success (1/10/2018)
10 Body Language Myths That Limit Success (11/20/2017)
Customer Centricity Takes Collaboration (8/12/2017)
10 Change Leadership Tips Backed By Science (7/8/2017)
3 Crucial Skills For Leading Without Authority (5/23/2017)
7 Tips for Inspiring Collaboration (4/6/2017)
How Female Leaders Can Claim Power Through Body Language (3/9/2017)
How Leaders Project Charisma (2/3/2017)
How To Spot A Liar At Work (1/5/2017)
How Santa Claus Knows If You’ve Been Naughty Or Nice (12/16/2016)
Ten Questions To Power Up Your “Leadership Presence” (7/19/2016)
Why You Don’t Believe Me When I Say “I’m Listening” (7/5/2016)
Tips to Increase Leadership Presence (2/1/2016)
Why First Impressions Stick (5/1/2015)
Has Your Collaboration Strategy Fallen Into The Say-Do Gap? (2/1/2015)
10 Powerful and Simple Body Language Tips for 2015 (1/1/2015)
Is Your Body Language Sabotaging Collaboration? (10/1/2014)
Body Language for Videoconferences (6/1/2014)
5 Ways To Project Confidence (5/8/2014)
Do You Work For A Bully? (4/8/2014)
8 Tips For Collaborative Leadership (3/8/2014)
Why You Should Reach Out and Touch Someone (2/11/2014)
10 Simple and Powerful Body Language Tips for 2014 (1/1/2014)

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